Ever Told - Time is a healer?

Ever feel that people 'don't get you' when you are grieving and hear comments such as:

• Time is a healer

• They are in a better place

• At least they lived a long life

• At least you have other children

  
  

Grief is often thought of as something that fades over time, but the Tonkin Model offers a different perspective. It suggests that grief does not necessarily get smaller, instead, your life grows around it. In the early stages of loss, grief can feel overwhelming, as though it fills your whole world. Over time, as your life gradually expands through new experiences and connections, grief may take up less space within it. It can still be present, but it no longer defines every moment.

This model can feel reassuring, as it moves away from the idea of “getting over” loss, and instead recognises that grief can remain while life continues to grow around it.

As someone who learns visually, I find that the following image captures and summarises this model in a clear and accessible way.